You know Kenneth. From 30 Rock. The one who’s well-meaning, goofy, clumsy, sweet and… charming? Or something not quite like that. His earnestness makes you want it all to work out for him, but you know it won’t.

My Android tablet, the Samsung Galaxy Tab, is Kenneth.

Its helpfulness is enraging. There’s a bright little bring-a-ling chime that happily informs you that the battery is going to die. At least, that’s what I think it means. It reminds me despite the fact that it’s 4:13am, and that waking me means it’s in mortal danger.

Why, indeed, is the chime a peppy tune? The UX doesn’t naturally map to a dead battery. Dead battery sounds to me like slow, falling, sonorous tones. When you wake the device to see what was so very important, there’s no notification. So, I’m not even sure what the chime means.

Kill. Kill. Die. Die. Die.

Ok, I feel better.

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UPDATE 11/16/2011 – My trusty iPhone, though the battery was so dead it shut itself off at 10pm, saved enough juice to sound my wake up alarm the next morning. MY HERO!